Engaged Encounter Weekend
RD and I just finished our Engaged Encounter weekend that started on Friday night, and ended Sunday afternoon. For nearly 48 hours, we stayed at the ME House at Punggol, with 26 other couples who were at various stages of preparation for marriage.
It was an intense experience. The EE team was very well prepared and organised sessions that kept the couples discussing issues pertaining the their relationship. It was almost non-stop one-on-one interaction with RD and we covered almost every topic of importance. We had short breaks and meals in between but the programme was so tight that we were kept very busy throughout the whole weekend. It was a little tiring to be seated for hours listening and sharing on one topic after another, especially then the sessions lasted late into the night.
Many of the topics may not be unfamiliar to most matured couples - issues like children, finance, expectations were covered. However, this course proves its value by forcing these issues on the participants. Some of them were touchy subjects, then even the experienced couples sometimes avoid unintentionally. For RD and I (we considered ourselves mature) - it was fruitful to focus on these topics that we had not discussed in depth before. For example, we had previously hinted at the expected family size but never formally talked about it before until this weekend.
The sessions were organised by a group of EE couples - some of them facilitating with Fr Henry Siew, others working in the kitchen to prepare food and clean up after us. I was very touched by their selfless giving of their time and energy, especially to a group of strangers. After the night prayer yesterday, we came out for supper to find the discussion area darkened and there were tea lights on every table lending a soft inviting glow for us to continue our conversations. I felt that those who prepared these had put their heart into this simple thankless task.
The EE weekend is one of two courses that couples in Singapore can attend in order to prepare for marriage in a Catholic church. Because these courses are mandatory, large numbers of people attend them before marriage. The EE weekend is held about 18 times a year, initiating almost a thousand people every year.
One of the less desirable effects of the Church’s insistence for formal preparation is that there were many couples there who have no desire to participate. This included a number of people who had come with strong ideas against organised religion, and it was not difficult to pick them out from the crowd. At meal times, we are with different participants, and it was sometimes a shock to hear about the apathy and blase attitudes of those who badly wanted to get married in a church but did not wish to accept the faith. It was a subtle reminder of how Christian values are still under seige in this modern world.
The Fr Henry and the EE team were extremely charitable when some of the participants started questioning issues of faith. They were patient and hardly frazzled with some of the difficult questions (such as the guidelines that the Catholic Church insists upon when inter-faith marriages are concerned). It was like a form of witnessing to our faith that we could show love to those who did not share our beliefs.
This weekend was one of the best organised courses that I’ve ever attended that was organised under the auspices of the Catholic Church. I was deeply touched by the commitment and love of the EE couples and appreciated their efforts to ensure that RD and I had a meaningful time.